It was a Christmas that I will never forget. My mother gave me a small gift from under the tree, “a small gift with plenty to give” she said. Underneath the wrapping paper was a box, a velvet red box and that velvet red box had a necklace inside, and oh how lonely it sat in the center of that box. But oh how softly it sat in the center of that box. As my eyes fixated on the necklace, I read something, something that I will never forget. “Taurus”, the bullheaded, stubborn, fearless zodiac sign sat in that box. It was me the bullheaded, stubborn, and fearless girl, I sat in that box. I held that gold chain tightly in my hand while that zodiac sign swung forward and backward, forward and backward, until eventually stopped. Then at that very moment when it was still and I was still, I grabbed that necklace tightly and shut that velvet red box. Now the velvet red box was not pleased, for it made a snapping noise back at me. I think it made that abrupt noise because it knew it would never hold my necklace again. You see, “Taurus” has sat against my chest from that Christmas until now, I have never taken it off and I guess it is because I don’t think I ever could. That necklace still sits close to my heart morning and night, and that velvet red box is now simply…a box.
Her character was the essence and symbol of every single gal’ living in America, and that closet was every women’s envy. Her ever-changing style and wardrobe was what made Carrie Bradshaw the ‘stylista’ of her era. She was what made every women ask themselves “What would Carrie do?” when wanting to look fabulous. Her signature sarcasm, and quick wit were some of her well-known traits, but the ultimate signature style Mrs. Bradshaw owned was that ever-popular “Carrie” necklace. It was that very necklace that caused me to spend hours upon hours searching EBay. I desperately tried to find a gold chain necklace with some inscription, possibly a name, anything that resembled hers. I searched for months; every Kiosk, every store, every website, but every one was the same. Finally, it was an average Sunday morning and I happened to open a old catalog that I found it. It was a gold chain necklace that caught my eye in the bottom right-hand corner of page 18. Could it possibly be, I thought? There it was, a necklace with an inscription, the inscription of my astrological sign, the 'Taurus'. There was a small birthstone dangling from the word. It was then I knew. It was not my name, it was better. It was my own personalized “Carrie” necklace.
The day my grandmother past was the most excruciating days of my life. I was sad, scared, alone, worried, and heartbroken. I did not know how hard it would be to lose someone, how truly hard it would be. No matter what is said or done, nothing fills that void, nothing. Especially since that someone had such an impact and significance in my life. She was my inspiration for anything I put my heart, my soul and my every devotion into. I never thought that the day would come where my inspiration became my regret, my sadness, and my troubles. I regret not spending more time with her, I am saddened by how I did not tell her how much she meant to me, and I am troubled every time I think back to a memory or moment with her. I am resentful of her death and it hurts me to think about her. I am hurt, I am broken, and I am sorry. All I had left of her; was the necklace she gave me, the necklace she had said was “the essence” of me, it represented my strength, desire, power, and love. It is the true meaning of a Taurus. It is the true meaning of that necklace. I wear that necklace everyday in memory of her. I wear it knowing I spend everyday with her, with no regrets, that she knows all my secrets because she is there to listen, and that every memory we have shared together, because she is always right there with me.
